Money For Stamps

It's been a long time now, Since my words could be seen by the eye,

Taken back, Told to stop, All the wrong sentiments no matter how I try,

I'm not as bad as it came across but I guess this is still a surprise,

Stumbling onto metaphors for how I see you when I close my eyes,

Seconds leading to minutes and it feels like that is all I can take,

Trying not to over expose myself for us, you and for my own sake,

Blew what I had to try and show you how I have been blown away,

Not by you but by myself and how I think it and then I have to say,

It might seem like I'm pushing but i feel to it I'm being drawn,

And now between begging you and playing hard to get i'm slowly getting torn,

It's hard to hear you say you wanna try the things I regret,

Not for the fear of how I would feel but how I felt I could never forget,

I dont wanna hear you say it but it's A tune that I guess you had to hear,

I think tonight is gunna be that night that the song sings in my ear,

But another pair of eyes on you and another hand for you to feel,

Could be the experience I had that you need to see that what we had is real,

I'm writing words everyday but I think my charms now exhausted ,

While you still want the thrill of being chased but I know that views distorted.

I am now the optimist to myself that you always were to me,

Learning how to pick myself up and brush myself down and soon I'm gunna be,

Just gotta keep writing not for you but for me cause It keeps me on the ground,

Cause the pressure of the circumstance causes walls to crumble with an almighty sound,

I can't ask you not cause your to clever to listen but clever is not the same as wise,

Just think back to the moment when you could see your blues reflection in my own blue eyes.

The view of tomorrow, goodbye to yesterday and as for today...

Alright this all started with a little bit of fuss,
Caught down crack type sat on the bus,
Laugh a little giggle and you ain't got funnier,
Little laugh cry cause the weathers gettin sunnier,
I know you think I don't know it, But I know what I said,
And yer I really mean when I say I would rather be dead,
But that kinda talk didn't get anyone nowhere,
Cept in in a broken neck heap at the bottom of the stairs,
It might have got a little croakier but my heart still sings,
and you can stand still while round you I'm running rings,
Now that wasn't a little crack to think of what I can do,
You know that it was circumstance that got the better of you,
I spent so long on the upstream push against the tides,
But i ran out of breath and I can't swim to the sides,
Now callus and dark as ever I can't get satisfaction
You can push me but don't touch me to get a reaction,
Sometimes I wonder what the hell am i doing,
Grab back what's lost, can't touch, it is just for viewing.
Your like a movie playing on a continuous reel,
Equilibrium, Conflict, Equilibrium and round again till I feel,
Like I know the story better than any script or plot,
Burning like a matchstick going out and soon to be forgot,
A short existence made to bring light into a dark room,
protecting you from baddies till we lost sight of the moon,
I think tomorrow i'm gunna write myself out a list,
Of all the things i regret, did to you and i missed,
And then im gunna stab a pencil through the phonebook,
and however deep the pen tears the paper that's where I'll look,
And I'll rite out the address in my neatest handwritten scrawl,
and post it to the recipient with out any indication it was me atall,
and the person who get's it whoever that person maybe,
Will cry at the sins, lies and disregard that they will have opened to see,
and never be unable to shake of the twitch of fear,
that a person in there life no matter how far or near,
could have thought the things that I think to myself,
Decision making gets jaded when you care not for wealth,
and your only true focus is for your voice to be heard,
whether thats screamed from the tallest building or in written word,
and you think that maybe someone out there will empathise,
but the person who understood you left because of your lies,
that's not fair to say it like they left you alone,
I made my decision without variables, controls it was completely my own,
But fuck me it was hard and I never knew how it would end,
but it's not over yet as a door closes a window opens and a lover to a friend,

Love is just around the corner.

To all the wanting, broken and unspoken I offer you this advice,
Know that there is always another chance and lightning can strike twice,
Your not the only ones to feel that fear that you won't be able to move on,
Your not set in stone and your not alone, you not the only one,
Set aside your hate and pride and take your time to think,
Logic is the strength on earth to bring you back from the brink,
I'm not seeing the world through heart shaped Ray Bans despite how it may seem,
I was blinded by that view as well and lost reality to dream.
Tested, tried and forced to hide I've seen your darkest days,
But we are all intricate and individual just sometimes in similar ways.
No matter what he or she says to you theres no such thing as the perfect match,
But true perfection needs imperfections for a trojan plan to hatch,
And you'll find comfort in the differences cause there an escape from what you are,
If you had to take solace in an identical you would not have too look very far,
You would could not be with another and that is to live and die alone,
Care for the ones that care for you, a house without a family cannot be called a home,
This not a case of philosophy or even psychology but perception,
These are not or shall be my own words in them I'm some what of an exception,

Now that part of my life has come to an end,
The stories we had and plans we made were all pretend,
Skipping on to the next of my cornerstone,
Wait for the red light to flash before I go on alone,
Cancel the plans that were spread to thin,
I don't just think what happened is wrong I think it's a sin,
But the movement has always been a little rough,
Oh how it seemed you were special it seemed you were enough,
Funny equation the subtraction of your attraction,
Funnier still is the time that got split into equal fractions,
Of the good, the bad, the lonely, the same,
Tried so hard to get people to call me my own name,
Metaphors for metaphor truths parallel to lies,
In Russian roulette is the winner the one that dies?
Can't is an imaginary word they said to me,
I replied to the same people can't you just leave me to be,
Is this all stuff that one shouldn't have thought,
Easy to say up here when your ever so tired and ever so short,
Suppose It's getting a little bit distorted,
Will this make out I was lying when i said it was all sorted,
Or even if this happens to go and get read,
by the people I'm aiming at with the thoughts in my head,
How many could be offended by the things I wrote,
I think the same old person could pull out a quote,
And I'll laugh to myself at what appears to be,
Me making some kind of snide reference concerning you and me,
But the truth of the matter is I'm sat on the fence,
Rambling and scathing and most of it doesn't make sense,
The key to all writing is that it doesn't always end,
Like your attraction you can add and subtract and the rules you can bend,
I could go back and edit this to put in some names,
I could have already taken them out as to not reload some of the blame,
It's ammunition to what sure to be an attack,
Of the almost white clouds that will roll and fall through grey into black.

More draw than man, more can't than can.

See i found myself this friend who makes the little things exist,
Taken up the anti so much more fun than when your pissed,
Frightened by people yes so comfortable in company,
Little brown around my eyes makes no difference to how i see,
Finding your little comments oh so relevant to the truth,
So important the news can't help but scrawl it on a telephone booth,
Seen so many lights that help me take on my fear of the dark,
You know who you are and what time to meet in the emptiest of car park,
Laugh a little louder I don't think the next town over heard you,
Laugh a little colder till your eyes go red and lips proceed to turn blue,
See your storm was so much fun to be in sailing it like the slaves,
but although much more sparse now i'm not so excited by your waves,
Countless times i waited for the Blinding to come ashore,
troubled by the empty coast and theres no knocking at my door,
Lost in the art of function I'm no longer the pinicle of synicle,
Lost in the art of escapism my bodies biology's now more chemical,
Losing it, losing, losing it and lost take me under your wing,
Supposed to be on the radio soon but not too sure if I can sing,
I know you have little too spare and this is quite some favour,
But please let me hear you one more time so come and be my saviour,
Reluctant to my truth and denial has started to take it's toll,
Throwing me around and back to myself flailing like an old rag doll,
Buttons for my eyes and go and knit me some new clothes,
Next time you see me will I be down or up only the heavens knows,
Haha you pushed it once and then pushed for a little bit less,
Scathing marks of times past are hidden under your fitted dress.
Scratch me up another memory on the inside of the club toilet wall,
Scathe at me from up on your throne so majestic and so tall,
This is not an ode or relevent state of what is fact,
This is a ballad to substance that has filled in the gaps of what I lacked,
A true mistress so of solitude shaping me into it's mould,
Phantom feelings of my baddest of days stroll in from the past so cold,
Am I falling backwards into the boy that I once was?
Or have I not lost control as much as they believe just because,
Comparisions between where your going to and to where i am,
Little bit of lion and ever so much more of a lonely lamb,
I won't tell the man in the mirror that I am his only fan,
I'm more draw than man you see more can't than am of a can.

Pffft

Well do you think she'll buy some of my beautiful roses?
Or do you think they'll chip in for blow up their noses?
How long is a long time and how long do i wait?
Wether i'm an hour before or behind you know i'll be late,
As i said to puddles i meant no offence in my care for you,
But you still find twistings in my poems to start arguments due,
Lightning doesn't strike me once let alone twice,
And the lightning round here would probably go get it;s brother to roll the dice,
The casinos churning out blues for raggedly rich,
Torn apart at the seams of my rainy days blues stitch,
Now caught in my own crossfire like americanism on our shore,
A story told so many times it's now somewhat of a bore,
Chasing up tagged i wear the mark on my chest,
In my gang forever never the leather shooting off at the rest,
And i may on occasion be somewhat of a scalleywag,
but you were more the kind of girl for just a back alley shag,
Don't stop mid pirouette to try and slow me down,
Cause i think i got addicted to your proper sorry frown,
Now clean and sober I stumble up to your door,
Tell the king i didn't notice him as i drifted towards your floor.

I was not able to play

I can't help but feel this is being misread,

The way my eyes are rolling back probably looks like I'm dead,

And the completely sporadic jolt of my head,

Leaves little to the imagination of what they think i've taken instead.

Sweating profusely but thats nothing new,

The guys said before i looked messed and i think they blame it on you,

But when your messed up what else am i to do,

I defended myself as I could feel that my truth had just withdrew,

Countless sentiments leaving me in unrest,

It doesn't matter how many times you tell a man down he's the best,

The seeds of self doubt have already begun to infest,

Cause to truly judge a man there is no selection process or test.

Pulling me apart between small fame and obscurity,

How can i now grab the hand that has reached out for me?

Tell the wasted time boy it's him that you pity,

And how faded against the stage light an outline is all you can see

You fucked it, you fucked it, you fucked it for trust,

I swear to myself in the mirror with no pity for myself and for her theres no lust,

You made out that by breaking me you just weren't to fussed,

Now all your good sentiments have broken down into dust.

Cancel the last one it was far too over thought,

The shallowing clapping has lead me into a state where i'm distraught,

To think of the money you spent here and the tickets you bought,

Too see me so useless pining over something i can't remember i sought

So thank you ladies and gentlemen and we'll see you again,

Terribly sorry for my behavior but for you it's inappropriate but for me it is pain,

I watch as the curtain closes and my sense of awareness i begin to regain,

But by now its too late and any attempt to salvage is an attempt thats in vein.

I'm Just Gunna Start Writing And See What Happens.

Taking one step to step to another crack,

Take a few more cause theres no point holding back,

Paper in pocket tells you all I have done,

Jobshop blues is a consolation prize not what I won,

Literally so broke that I can't get the bus,

Blew all the cash on draw layed down covered in dust,

Never thought that I'd be the one going through this,

Meaning of my hard work has summed up in a kiss,

Plentifull planned and well executed,

For the first time in a while I've got suited and booted.

Then that rush seems to quickly wear thin,

As she draws up her hand to scratch on her chin,

As her right arm comes up to support,

the left hand scratch of well balanced thought,

Maybe a call in a week or two,

Maybe never a call like the auburn haired girl that I knew,

Don't dwell on those feelings son,

Cause she's not coming back to put her hand on, 

Your hands on her hands like bricks of house,

Dilapidated and empty flaming with no water to douse,

All the fire within me raging ever so strong,

Creeping up from bed and sectioning the wrong,

But despite this plain filter between black and white,

I'm unable to make the decision and choose what is right,

I found a girl who makes the problems away,

But if she ever asked to see me I still don't know what I would say,

This is gettting faster matter of fact,

I gotta keep this work can't afford to get sacked,

I had to walk for best part hour and a half,

Just to hand in some paper and be ignored by the staff,

To turn around and walk straight back again,

The fleeting feet feeling starting to cause me pain,

A mild discomfort that seems to grow and grow,

Not the kind of fucker to put it as a status so everyone knows,

Why would I want a few hundred people to care,

About the fact I'm findin this life to be unfair,

Cause at the end of the day my story to write,

Theres no miraculous decision maker to hold me tight,

Each road that cross and bed I sleep in,

Changes the course of my life and what is happenin,

So to blame the unlucky or turn to sky,

And be the ungratefull that say they'd rather die,

Is to push the blame on down the line,

And some of us at the bottom have to go and face the fine,

Whilst dealing with our own fate and all it includes,

Theres not enough colours in the rainbow to suit all of my moods,

But I've never had to exactly go steal

To the point where kleptomania is all that I can feel,

Be a false truth to say I'd never gone pyro,

Pretty much burning money while theres some people on gyro,

Then reality looms as you start to grow,

All the people you burnt and burnt you, you no longer know,

Cause at the end of the day money makes the word go round,

Right now my world has stopped spinning and started to crash down,

But the bitter sweet irony just keeps me in check,

And if you've read this far I'll be done in a sec,

There was no point to story it's just things I had to say,

Cause each day it gets harder and tomorrows another day,

I wrote this whole thing in a continuous blur,

So sorry for any loss of punctuation or grammatical errors that occur,

Thank you for reading and I hope you do again,

And I'm sorry that some of couplets are all the same.

Robin

  

Forgotten In A Fortnight

Monday was just a conversation,
The next few the phone had a constant buzz,
By the time we hit the weekend,
She was phoning me up drunk just cause,
Saw me on the sunday night,
And then thing got a little bit rare,
Leaving us both accomplished,
Just holding hands while we sit and stare,
Cracking back through to Monday,
She's scared that it's all going too fast,
Left me spinning out for a few days,
But then back in the game at last.
Then Thursday she gave it to me,
and on Friday I made up my mind,
But Saturday she had to blow me off,
Sunday there were few kind words to find.
So we find ourselves back at Monday,
Trying to kiss her and make things right,
But she said she couldn't keep me going,
And suprise to all I'm forgotten In a fortnight

The Ballad of Puddles and Riddles (Part 2)

Now how can I stand here and sing you a song?
Got a feeling in the dark that somethings gone wrong,
Pulling chest prangs bring me back to reality,
Coming down but headstrong leaving me feelin shitty,
We are so crooked creatures straffing around,
Getting kicks out of people that are liking our sound,
Just the boys in the band gunna get us respect and,
If we don't go at it to hard then we might not get sectioned,
Like your doing pints of vodka instead of necking shots,
I'm not ripping off people i'm just getting back all the grots,
I really didn't mean to cause offence in my care for you,
I know you think i found little leisure in that repayment i'm due,
So don't take a moral highground theres no pension in that,
I won't fade away I'll burn out in that place that we sat,
We're gunna take it in reverse the effects of us turning old,
You and me in our little spiral the greatest rock n roll story yet to be told.

This will define ramble.

Woken up in so many rooms that are so scary,
Waking up in silence having gone sleep ever so larey,
Gettin pissed off at the unbeleivable state of your finance,
I'd be happy to observe let alone get myself a chance,
The twenty two comes at exactly five past the hour,
It would be a lamp post bus stop i'm stood at in this shower,
Drifting in and out of thoughts or the tug of war in your mind,
between the evil that completes you and beautiful and kind,
You've pushed it so far away that it's gunna come back round,
And having not spoke in a while would you recognise her sound?
It's safe to assume that she's at least in the game of rope,
Pulling her weight evenly as you just hit and then hope,
You've spun out your friends and the web lies has been weaved,
All the people who trust you blindly have just been deceived,
But there faith is something that stops them to suspicion,
All too preoccupied in there own little mission,
I never wanted to have to convey emotion in rhyme,
but truth be told to seek help i dont have the money or time,
She knows she's in your head cause she's quite happy to chat,
tinseling little princess i struggle to bear the thought of that,
You fucked it in your head your just waiting for your body to regain,
the energy to complete the undeniable track like your bodies a train,
A metaphor for life or a metaphor for when all has just bout gone wrong,
I've been walking miles through the past while and it feels so long
Yes i do definately deserve to have some time to fuck about,
but deserving something don't stop time, work to be done without a doubt.